Epitaphs Of The Heart: A Lover’s Anthology

This poetry collection is not only a celebration of love, but an embrace of what has once been and what will come again

SHAMROCK SUN

By: Miranda Kanter

@miranda.kanter

I think of you as the colour yellow.

Those specs and spatters of dust suspended in light; hushed yellow as it breaks through your window. Your window, which keeps its back to the sun, so sunrise for us only happens at noon. A midday sunrise – you are a morning delayed; seeping through the Irish flag that covers your window, washing that yellow light green.

I think of you as the colour red.

As your rouge-streaked cheeks toning mine, untempered. By September, you’ll be well back in Belfast; I turn my head to the side and stick out my tongue to scrape it clean of the words I and love and you. Without time to wonder whether I really yet mean the words stuck to the tips of my nails, I tuck them into the hair that I brush back behind your ear, for you to take back home.

Back home, I eat as you fall asleep; fall asleep just when you wake. When I wake, it’s with the sun at noon, your time.

I think of you still as a midday sunrise.

---

POCKET MEMORIES: HOLDING ON

By: Ella Morale

@pocket.elfie

it feels so special to hold your

book with your pencil marks

scratched through it

i want you to mark my skin

i want you to fold my corners in

at the parts that feel most

important to you

---

TANGIBLE LOVE

By: Eri Dixon

@eri.ecdc

Hold the fire until it burns your hands then keep holding.

---

UNTITLED MUSING ON DAY #103

By: Florence Syed

@sleepyy.pixie

I had to learn the hard way that love should not be unconditional. 

An honourable notion

But one that is dishonest

The way that I love is through devotion

I will spend day after day running my fingers through the knots of your hair and awakening early to place honey and bread at your feet and I will clutch your hand and kiss at your flesh in attempts to soothe when your eyes are wet

I will devote my flesh, time, blood, bones and anything you’d wish from me all that I pray is that you ask me to 

All that I pray is that you desire me to 

recognize my yearning to love you, to need you, to want you, to take you 

But love without conditions is one that neglects the self

It is one that leaves the giver with empty hands and tired knuckles

One that gives and gives and gives but the reciprocation can never be of equal footing

Not when I deify you into a god and lie on my knees before you

Worshipping and praying in a manner that many would argue is unbecoming 

But devotion has made me reckless and simultaneously weak 

Weak knees, weak ankles and weakened restraints 

and by placing you so high it leaves you in no other position but to look down at me 

And that is not the way that I desire to be looked at by any lover. 

---

EVERYONE

By: Annie Chantraine

@goo_g1rl

I want to be in love with everyone in the world.

My physical body is only capable of such a limited expression of love compared to the sheer scope of love I feel shoot through me like sun arrows.

I want to feel every heartbreak, every tender cheek graze, every tear hitting every casket, every kiss planted on the lips for the first time.

I want to feel it all and I want to make everyone feel it too. 

I want to follow the thread that weaves us together. 

I want to start at beginnings and cross boundaries of space and time and body and world

I want to return to you and start again, forever, differently each time.

---

Flame To A Wick

By: Harsh Patankar 

@vantablackcult

Candied words like wisps of smoke

Float between our lips

Filling the room with the sweet hum

Of gods flame to a wick

When I eat the sun

Casting all in my shade 

I’ll leave you the moon

The only jewel in my blade

Slick in my own depths

You refract hands of light

Many colours light a lamp

As I fall from great height

---

SWEAT IT OFF AND THE REST IS JUST A DAY WITH YOU

By: Emmanuelle Toohey-Carignan 

@ithinkthatuh

Moonlight on the open shore

The streetlights glowing door to door 

Your frame reclining on the floor

I don’t think I’ll speak anymore

What if I hurt you? 

Wipe the plasma off your sore

Outside we chase green shining from lighthouses in distant dark

We ran through eyesore streets and dog parks 

Let off our leash

What if I lose you to my longing?

---

(SUCKER PUNCH)

By: Anna-Giselle Funes-Eng

@annagiselle.fe

I think I might’ve loved you

In another life before

I wonder, is it selfish

To maybe ask you for one more?

Stand at the window waiting 

You frost the glass with bated breath 

Thinking as you breathe out the world

With lovely slow, uneven heft

Maybe I did love you once

I never can be sure

I think that if I loved you

I’d still want to. Just one more. 

Together apart: Exploring the reality of long-distance relationships

Take a deep dive into the actuality of being in a long-distance relationship and discover the secret to getting through it all

By: Sia Shete

And in Life's noisiest hour,

There whispers still the ceaseless Love of Thee,

The heart's Self-solace and soliloquy.

The Presence of Love; Samuel Taylor Coleridge.

Being invested in a long-distance relationship translates to being homesick for a person, more so than anything else. It's odd really, how we simple human beings can feel an emotion so complex and so utterly deep as the love that drives us to go to lengths for one another. 

Sometimes the price you pay for wanting someone in your life is the distance. The pain, the nights lying awake cursing time and distance for standing in the way. 

You wish they lived just a few miles closer and wish even more so to have the power to be able to run down and throw your arms around them. Unfortunately, that's a luxury not every one of us can afford.

 Nonetheless, every day is a new chapter in the book. For too many long-distance lovers, distance is just like the grains of sand in an hourglass; waiting to run out. Although long-distance relationships are all about proving whether “your love for one another is stronger than the space between you,” there's more to it than what meets the eye.

Nurturing a long-distance relationship can be tricky and challenging but also rewarding at the same time. It isn't always about having the most perfect relationship—an illusory ideal that will look and be different for everyone— but about finding someone who will stick through the bad times just like they would the good times, by your side.

People don’t essentially go looking for a long-distance partner, the majority of them just happen to turn into one. A 2019 survey showed that 68 per cent of people had a “limit” for distance within the state lines or closer, opting to look for romantic relationships in proximity. 

It also showed that most couples that end up adapting to long-distance meet either on dating apps or sites. Another reason behind the birth of a long-distance relationship is either moving away to a new region and/or country for further education or work. There comes at least one point in a couple’s life when they have no other option but to lead lives away from one another for a specific period of time. Although this is inevitable in certain situations, some couples move borders just so they don't have to deal with the problem of “distance” altogether. 

Long-distance relationships, however, don’t have to be the worst-case scenario. But only those truly committed—to making a relationship work under tumultuous conditions, and to one another— can make it through.

For centuries, relationships had always contemplated distance. And during the 1800s and a part of the 1900s, there was no technology to keep partners connected over a video call, let alone a phone call. Letters were the sole medium of communication for weeks, even months and yet a good chunk of these relationships resulted in marriages and settling down with one another. Why this example you ask? If they could do it then, you can definitely pull through. But before we get into the “how” to maintain a healthy long-distance relationship, let’s take a look at the difference between trusting the process and knowing when to back out.

People are often confused between setting boundaries for themselves and sticking around for that “special someone.” Making it work in a long-distance relationship does not mean you sacrifice your mental peace, self-respect and stability. While it’s quite a feat to get through the rough patches and arguments in the absence of the other’s physical presence, it’s also important to know where to draw a line for yourself. Long-distance is certainly not for everybody. If it’s with the right person, it’s essential to know that they’ll never put you through a situation where you’re forced to sacrifice your peace. It’s important for you to establish who you are before you establish who “we” are.

Setting boundaries, increasing communication and your level of understanding becomes vital. Without communication, any relationship, especially long-distance ones, would cease to exist. Even the most seemingly mundane piece of information like what the sky looked like to you today or the small snail you passed by that brought a smile to your face needs to be communicated. If your corporeal selves can’t be connected, make sure your emotional selves are wholly attached.

Counseling Psychologist and life coach Pranjul Somani talks about how long-distance is not about “having time,” it's about “making time.” While sometimes it’s impossible to find time between busy schedules, it’s equally important to prioritize your partner and find some time for them during the day. And when that’s not doable, communicate that.  Let them know beforehand and update them about your day over a text if calling seems difficult. All you need to remember is it’s the same person you longed for, the same person you waited for, the same person you have fond memories with and that you do not want to let go. Choose them over the distance, fight for them and trust one another. no matter what.

Here are a few ideas that you can get to know your partner deeper (yes, over video calls!) and spend some quality time together this Valentine’s Day away from one another:

Play the “We’re not Really Strangers” card game: Couple’s Version!

The infamous Instagram page called “We’re Not Really Strangers” came up with a personal game just for couples to not just help you get closer to your loved one but also get to know them better as a person. With over three different levels of “intimacy,” this game will surely make your day a lot better, even though you are away from your valentine.

Hit the gym together

Yes! You heard that right. A virtual date at the gym. Workout together on this special day, hit the same muscle groups, coordinate your workouts and do some cardio (in the gym only please!) Who cares if people think it’s weird or too cheesy? Stretch your boundaries (and muscles!) for the person you love.

Send them hand-written letters via post

Too 1800s for you? Do it anyway. Handwritten letters are more personal and show that you care a lot more than you can verbally communicate. Take it up a notch and add a little bit of your scent on the piece of paper, some of their favorite candy in the envelope or something that’s personal to the two of you. 

Netflix and… sorry, just that

As much as we all would LOVE the option of “chilling” with our partners, maybe next time? Either get all romantic and watch Notting Hill, The Proposal and You’ve Got Mail or change the plantotally by binging some Tarantino flicks, it’s up to you. Grab some popcorn, make some desserts or order in. Either way bond with one another over a few couple movies on Teleparty!

Listen to your favorite music and have a dance party

Be it Apple Music or Spotify, make collaborative playlists together and add some of your songs or discover new songs together. Have one another on video call, stare at each other for hours, work while listening to the playlist or just talk, for hours. Music does half the magic. 

Remember that years from now the past will be a story. The pain you went through will seem worth it, the memories you made will sit framed on the fireplace, you’ll appreciate every second you spend together but most importantly, you’ll be reminded that you fell in love with a person for the little things. It’s not always about the physical touch. Although it sucked that you couldn’t hold their hand when you wanted to, or couldn't give them a hug when they needed it, you made it through space and time and that’s exactly why everything will seem worth so much more; in every universe and in every world, your love knows no bounds.

Valentine’s Day in the city: How creative do your gifts get?

By Lauren Kaminski

Photo: Johnny Brown/Unsplash

As Feb. 14 rolls around in Toronto, for some, this celebration of love can become a matter of what gift will best show your gratitude or affection for your significant other.

With this added pressure, some find Valentine’s Day to be just to be another “money-grab” — a capitalist holiday invented to empty the pockets of those in meaningful relationships and insisting that love comes with a price tag. 

The idea of spending copious amounts on a gift can seem unattainable for those that are young, broke and in love. Yet, much like the holiday season and birthday celebrations, giving the perfect DIY gift, or planning the perfect night, can be how some couples prefer to show their gratitude. 

For Michael Taglioni, the day doesn’t differ from any other, as he finds it’s “just another day to appreciate your significant other,” he explained.

Taglioni plans to make his girlfriend an “exploding box.” This project features a greeting card in a box, and when the lid is lifted, the walls of the box fall down with pictures, notes, and mementos lining the sides. When opened, it reveals 4 different layers that ‘explode.’

While Taglioni wants to maintain a DIY approach to the holiday, he also plans to surprise his girlfriend with flowers and a necklace enclosed in the box. 

“I was thinking about doing just dinner with Emma, but I decided that I want to make her something she’d really remember,” he said.

The new couple has still made plans for the 14th at La Bettola Di Terroni for dinner, a Toronto Southern Italian restaurant where they met for the first time, as well as a hotel room. Recognizing the corporation-driven nature of the holiday, the 25-year-old still acknowledges the value of showing devotion to one’s partner.

“It’s nice to shower someone with love and gifts,” he said.

This creative outlook on Valentine’s Day doesn’t differ for those in long-term relationships.

Cyreena Prasad met her boyfriend of three years, Joshua Gordon-Hinds, in high school, and after a couple of years of friendship, they made it official. 

After finding crafty inspiration on Pinterest, Prasad decided to make a little box of her boyfriend’s favourite things including candy, socks, and video games.

“It lets me get him gifts with an excuse,” she said.

As for Prasad, being in a long-term relationship has not changed her idea of Valentine's Day as “he treats me so well every day of the year so it doesn’t really make a whole difference,” she said.

Prasad explained that she still enjoys celebrating Valentine’s Day for the quality time together.

“I just love spending time with him and doing fun things.”

Despite being in a relationship or not, in recent years it seems that the day of love has shifted meaning to a broader appreciation of all the ways we can experience love.  

“Galentine’s Day”, a nonofficial holiday first dubbed by character Leslie Knope in the television series Parks and Recreation, acknowledges love outside of romantic partners.

For Dini Bryant, a 29-year-old nurse and Brock University graduate, every Valentine’s Day her and a group of single friends head to downtown Toronto and go out drinking, usually on the hunt for some good live music.

“When you’re single, your friends are your makeshift boyfriend,” said Bryant. 

Bryant’s group would do fun eyeshadow looks fitting the holiday, and dress up in pink and red outfits. They would only settle for bars with live music, accompanied by the perfect decorations like strung up heart lights and cupid cut-outs. 

Bryant sees the value in celebrating the holiday with those you love, regardless of being romantically involved.

“Friends are your support system, the people who are always there for you and that should be recognized on Valentine’s Day too,” she said.

Valentine’s Day poetry event at Union Station intrigues local commuters

By Alexander Sowa

‘Poetry in Union: Railway Lines and Valentines’ lets travellers get a personalized love poem written by one of nine professional Toronto poets

Union Station passersby were encouraged to engage in early Valentine’s Day festivities by allowing Toronto poets to personalize a poem for them.

Commuters and visitors were invited to sit down, enjoy a free cup of hot chocolate and doughnuts while the poets did their work.

“You sit with a person in an intimate space, at a desk. Not across the desk, but together. And you just ask them questions. What’s on your mind? What’s on your heart? What do you think of when you think of train travel?” said Kate Marshall Flaherty, organizer of the event.

Kate Marshall Flaherty at ‘Poetry in Union.’ (CanCulture/Alexander Sowa)

Flaherty continued to explain what the participants could expect at the end of their session with their Toronto poet.

“Eventually, as any poet will tell you, you get an image or a spark or an idea, and then you write for a minute or two. And then you read it to the traveller. Even amongst ourselves when we did it, it was very powerful. I can only imagine what it must be like for an unsuspecting traveller,” she said.

Hannah Martin, a marketing company owner, said that it was interesting to have someone attentively listen to what they had to say, as well having questions posed to them that people would not normally ask.

“(The poets) ask you questions … like ‘What is it in your life that’s going on that you need this for?’ And then you have to think about it,” said Martin.

Hannah Martin, left, with her company co-owner Shannon Litt, right, posing with their poems at the event. (CanCulture/Alexander Sowa)

Dominique Bernier-Cormier, one of the poets, described the writing process as wonderful and intimate.

“It feels like you create a space very quickly where people aren’t strangers anymore, very fast. But it’s tough because with only a couple of questions, you have to get a whole bunch of images to put in the poem,” he said.

Dominique Bernier-Cormier, Toronto poet, smiling while on a break from poem-writing. (CanCulture/Alexander Sowa)

Chloe Catan, the public art program manager for Waterfront Toronto, said that she gained a great admiration for the poets.

“I decided that I wanted to give my husband a poem for Valentine’s Day. I told Dominique the story of how we met in Mexico City. He listened to me for a few minutes, and then wrote a beautiful poem. I’m really happy,” said Catan.

‘A big first step’

The event, “Poetry in Union: Railway Lines and Valentines” was presented by the League of Canadian Poets.

According to Ayesha Chatterjee, the league’s former president, they are a “non-profit organization whose mandate is to encourage and promote poetry in Canada, as well as Canadian poets.”

This event is the first of its sort to be held by the league. “We usually don’t do events. Usually what we do is we’re in the background, we help to provide funding, we tweet, we use social media, we do stuff like that. We have an annual lecture at a conference, but this is the first time we’ve done anything quite like this. It’s a big first step,” said Chatterjee.

Flaherty emphasized that it was important for the poets involved to be from Toronto and showcase diversity.

“We really tried to have a cross-section of Toronto, which I think is the most multicultural, most diverse population in the world. It’s really important that we covered a microcosm of the world in Toronto,” said Flaherty.

The nine poets involved are all Toronto residents - Lesley Belleau, Dominique Bernier-Cormier, Ronna Bloom, Michael Fraser, Suparna Ghosh, Jessica Hiemstra, Max Layton, Rajinderpal Pal and Kate Marshall Flaherty.

The Right Time

Flaherty said that she was inspired to create the event in 2017 after being sent a video of “The Poet Is In,” a similar event that was held at Grand Central Station in New York.

Since Union Station had just been renovated, she said that they were working hard in order to make it accessible, arts friendly and community wide.

Flaherty said that she hopes to make this an annual event and that they are working with Union Station to make it happen.

If you are interested in more events like this at Union Station, you can view a full calendar of all the free activities they offer at torontounion.ca/event.